1Jul/09
Leaving My Gay Best Friend
I have broken up with my boyfriend because my best friend is gay. My boyfriend wanted me to leave my best friend of seven years because he feared that our children would not be true Muslim fundamentalists if they were brought up around my gay friend.
The guy himself was not religious at all and always encouraged me to wear revealing clothes so I could look sexy. My gay friend is someone who has always been there for me and is the sweetest guy on earth. I can not leave my friend who I know would be an amazing uncle to my kids. How can people have such double standards? I am confused as to what I should so.
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Anonymous
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July 15, 2009 12:39pm
word.
July 13, 2009 3:25am
Nachputtar: You definitely bring up some good points. I dont necessarily agree with them, but I can see the reasoning behind it. As far as the topic of homosexuality goes, youre right, the papers dont provide definitive proof one way or the other, but the point remains that the evidence is beginning to SUGGEST it isnt a choice. Im sure there are those who choose to be gay, being that they can swing either way, but for those who are 6s on the Kinsey scale, they dont see it as a choice. The only reason I bring up this point is because of those who demonize homosexuality and make it sound like some how two people of same gender going at it will affect their sexuality and ruin the fabric of society. If youre not gay, youre not gay end of story. You may choose to experiment, all that pretty much does is either confirms it or denies it. Im not at all saying aha! Research! so it's settled, what I am saying is to ignore it and cling to beliefs because thats what youre comfortable with, or thats the way you were raised and not at least consider an alternative (not saying accept), that just strikes me as pure swine-headed stubbornness and nothing more. Does the acceptance of certain behaviors in our society also promote them? I agree acceptance is on some level is a kind of promotion (if you play it out to its inevitable end), but I dont think you have to accept it, thats definitely your choice. That being said, when you live in a society in which certain behaviors are considered part of the norm (or are becoming part of the norm, as is the case with homosexuality), you either tolerate that behavior or find a different society that shares your views. I dont particularly see how TOLERANCE tho is promoting it. For the sake of argument however, lets say tolerance IS promoting it, so whats the answer then? Do you end up discriminating against an entire population because of a way of life that you dont consider appropriate? Or do you force them to live in hiding? The way I see it, sure its still being debated over and definitely more information/research is needed. That being said, if somehow your child is gay (either by choice or genetics) does that mean youre gonna beat them straight (no pun intended) or no longer think of them as your kid? As far as gays being marginalized, its changing to a point where its no longer marginalized, so the way I see it, ya either tolerate it and live in the society or else you dont. Either way, if the rest of society is tolerating it, the only person who ends up being miserable are those who dont. (phew that was long!.. sorry)
July 20, 2009 3:22pm
you claim homosexuality is not biological. are you saying prevailing scientific studies in this, are false? let's forget all this "science mumb jumbo," though for a second, since i'm sure it confuses your pea-brain. are you saying that you can imagine someone easily being able to be intimate with someone of the same gender? i'm straight and the idea of being with another man, is pretty repulsive to me. i can't iamgine anyone CHOOSING to be repulsed. for what? there is no pleasure in being with someone you are not attracted to. honestly, if you think it's so easy to be gay, to choose to be gay, i persoanlly think you have gay tendancies yourself. there's no other reason why you'd consider it acceptable for peopel to "choose" to be gay. so you know what? i'm not going to call you an idiot for your wrong views. i'm going to pray that someday, you'll be able to come to terms with your s3xuality and live your life as you were programmed to.
July 20, 2009 9:16pm
Where is it? "My boyfriend beats me up unless I wear the burka. Should I stop making lassi for him?"
July 21, 2009 10:49am
lol rater hater! I got a 5 from someone else before you gave me a 1! lozerrrrr!
July 21, 2009 12:00pm
you filthy, idiot. i made no mention of the film in myargument, save in the subject heading. obviously, reading comprehension is not your forte. do not presume to know anything about me. any familiarity of my person to you is an insult to myself. i've spent more hours studying "science" than you will in your life. particularly in the fields of psychology, neurophysiology. "science," is not your forte here. i accused no one of homos3xuality. i merely said that from the evidence provided, i think that person has tendancies. when someone acts gay, i will call them gay. when someone acts a fool, i will call them a fool. again, reading comprehension is not your forte, here. i speak this way to those who would spread disinformation about my faith to the world. i cannot, and will not tolerate the butchering of my belief, my faith, by ignorant clowns such as yourself. islam is not your forte, either apparently. save yourself the embarassment, nachidiot. stop talking.
September 27, 2009 2:07am
im not even gonna touch the whole issue abt the racist, two faced bf who wants to raise fundmentalist muslim children with his gf who has a gay bff...... what bothers me is that people are automatically assuming this is an ABCD issue...wtf.....pakistan has more muslim bf/gf/gaybff dramas in just KHI than all of the USA combined.... im tired of lamea$$ naseeb morons sitting around making up jerry springer wanna be scenarios that are dumber than dirt to make ABCDs/muslims look bad.....all these stupid vibe questions are so freakin unbelievable....i envy the person who gets paid to sit around all day thinking up these fake questions....
July 19, 2009 9:00am
Ms. Anonymous, I think you made the right choice because it is very difficult to find good friends that will always be by your side. Your bf is a hypocrite; he is not practicing what he is preaching. When you love someone, you accept them as is and try not to change (I mean major changes) them. But your bf wants you to leave your friendship which I think is not fair. First, your bf needs to question himself, is he being a Muslim fundamentalist by asking you to reveal your body so you would look sexy?? Manbeast (dancingdiva and everyone else)-> Being gay is not biological. If it was biological, something Allah had done then he would never have punished Prophet Luths people. His story is used as a reference by Muslims to demonstrate Islam's strong disapproval of homosexuality.
July 18, 2009 4:34pm
KhoyAraaz said: "I thought the people of Lut got punished for using a British accent?" Awwww, sweetie, you don't like the Holy Quran? It is not upto your open minded high society standard? So, you had to resort to accusing Holy Quran of being racist? I'm sorry to hear that Quran put a damper in your life. (End of sarcasm) Look dude, Quran is a holy book. Its tough that it doesn't meet your high standards. But, believing that Quran is a holy book is a necessary condition to being a Muslim. You don't like Islam? You think you can improve the divine book (because apparently you are smarter than God)? Great, invent your own religion. There is no compulsion in Islam. I'm happy to learn that you are misguided. Good for you. Just try not to misguide others, will ya? :)
July 18, 2009 8:25pm
i have nothing against British accents or people that wear white socks! Its the little pinky action they got goin on when they're sipping their tea .. know what i'm saying? word! I'm glad we understand eachother :D
July 19, 2009 8:59am
Ms. Anonymous, I think you made the right choice because it is very difficult to find good friends that will always be by your side. Your bf is a hypocrite; he is not practicing what he is preaching. When you love someone, you accept them as is and try not to change (I mean major changes) them. But your bf wants you to leave your friendship which I think is not fair. First, your bf needs to question himself, is he being a Muslim fundamentalist by asking you to reveal your body so you would look sexy??
July 4, 2009 3:32pm
All I have to say is that read what Allah & Muhammad said about Gay and having a boy friend. The main problem we (Muslims) having is not knowing our great religion, If we follow what exactly Islam say we will never go wrong.
July 5, 2009 5:53am
Dear Anonymous I give you 5 stars for being a great troll. The question is funny. Dear Naseeb Admin: Stop the trolling or this section would be reduced to a joke. Its urrently a helpful section so let it remain so.
July 5, 2009 7:45am
Yup Anonymous is a troll and its most likely AuroraBorealis herself who made up a fake question to satisfy her deep craving for public attention. She justifies it to herself and others as "a method to make the public think about controversial matters".
July 5, 2009 7:59am
Here are some responses from AuroraBoreAlis which expose her fake answers to her own fake question. She makes her responses as widely varied as possible to instigate as many people as possible so she can get some interaction and satisfy her craving for attention. They are posted at the end of this post. Response 1: I assume she was kidding in this one so we can ignore it, however notice that she makes fun of homosexuality in this one by saying "ooh, your hubby might turn into a homo" Response 2 is anti-gay: She says the moral fabric of society in the West has been decayed because of homosexuality. Response 3 is nuetral: She says she sees nothing wrong with homosexuality. She also says "gayness is contagious" Obviously response 2 and 3 blatantly contradict each other. One cannot say that there's nothing wrong with homosexuality and then say homosexuality is contagious and has decayed the moral fabric of the west. This proves she created this fake question and responds to her own fake questions. This is how you catch criminals as well. If their answers to questions dont match and there are inconsistencies, the detective will raise the risk of them being a suspect. She's either as confused as a cow on Astroturf, or she's intentionally making up these varied responses to get as much reaction from people as possible. She gives dumb answers to a dumb question. Nachputtar was one of her biggest victims and she's enjoying that attention now. Here are her varied, dumb and often contradictory responses to her own fake question: ===Response 1=== Your kids-to-be are the least of your worries rite now, you gay friend may actually turn your boyfriend into a homo by seducing him or something. Ever thought of dat? ===Response 2=== 2) Learn more about Islam and why homosexuality is condemned in Islam. You see the moral fabric of Western society is in decay b/c of homosexuality. Also, they were responsible for holocaust, Palestine-Israel conflict, earthquakes as well as the Rwanda genocide (them and the jews). 3) Sever all ties with your gay friend regardless of whether you get back with your ex-bf or not. It's cuz gayness is contagious and your friend's homosexuality would either turn you into a lesbian or turn all your future bfs gay. ====Response 3==== 4) Since the actions of a homosexual couple doesn't affect the rights and freedom of any other members of the society, I see nothing wrong with it. (responses from AuroraBoreAlis)
July 4, 2009 10:00am
I think it doesn't really matter if this question is made up or not...as long as it enables people to critically think about something and discuss it... in my opinion, this question touches upon some great topics...
July 4, 2009 10:48am
You can see her name in the list at the left. She's made up one fake question in the past confirmed (self-admitted) which atracted tonnes and tonnes of responses in which strangely she herself was a participant and would respond to her 'anonymous' self and I suspect this is another one of her fake questions. Nachputtar there's no point in thinking about a fake situation which has the problems I pointed out. Only a nut would think her best friend is more important than her boyfriend. At least thats not how it should be. Plus a "boyfriend" who wants his girlfriend to wear sexy clothing and wants his kids to grow up and become Muslim fundamentalists? Do you see a contradiction there?
July 17, 2009 4:45pm
I thought the people of Lut got punished for using a British accent?
July 9, 2009 10:48am
"Atheism can be either the rejection of theism, or the assertion that deities do not exist. In the broadest sense, it is the absence of belief in the existence of deities"..(Wikipedia) So Jazzyjaan, do you decribe yourself as atheist?
July 21, 2009 12:07pm
no, you idiot, the "abyss" muslims are in right now is BECAUSE of their tendancy to not be progressive. islam, at its core, is a progressive faith that does challenge us to be leaders- leaders don't fall back on ignorance, nor do they fear new things. leaders LEAD into new ideas. they go forward, not backwards. they embrace light, not darkness. education, scholarship, in their very definition, mean to investigate new ideas and to learn new things. islam came to the world to fix it. to bring peace, harmony to those troubled, to those disempowered. it came to progress humankind forward. we have to continue that if we are to be leaders of the world. no one's compromising his/ her beliefs, nor am i advocating that. the problem is YOU don't even KNOW what your beliefs should be. there's a difference between your (wrong) cultural views, and the true practices of islam. learn about islam. come out of your cave. stop spreading disinformation about our faith. start living like a muslim.
July 21, 2009 12:16pm
ready to rummble!!!! lol, kids
July 21, 2009 8:30pm
Manbeast: No, actually you did make a reference to "American Beauty" earlier. Then you talked about prevailing scientific studies but conveniently decided to "forget all this science mumbo jumbo" for a second - and never ever came back to it. Finally, you based your self-centered argument around yourself. While working at Barnes & Noble or Borders or wherever the hell you work at (as depicted by your picture) may put more biology books at your finger-tips than I'll ever read - Your inability to actually talk substance has been obvious to everyone for quite some time now. I mean seriously - once upon a time, your wit was mildly amusing, but we are all beginning to see your true nature, and especially your insecurities. Your postings (dung droppings rather) on here illustrate the intense frustrations and anxieties you're filled with. Are you on medication? Maybe you should be. The "shouting matches" you have with yourself on here are getting old. You are not 'Maddox,' and judging by your lousy MySpace blog in which you deliberate whether you're going to call Bio-Lab Girl or not, you wont be publishing anything, anytime soon. I'd tell you to suck it up and "grow up," but you seem to be pre-occupied with your imaginary battles with people on the highway, as per your blog. ....Is this all you ever do? Yes, there are idiots in this world and you ManBeast aren't just any idiot - No no, you're The artsy-fartsy, Thinks he's special, idiot. The most annoying idiot of them all. Oh btw, Liz, Jackie and Megan eh? Do you have any guy friends? Didn't think so - you're too whiney to have any guy friends.
July 9, 2009 8:36am
No its not. Nothing I said is fake or fictional. >> Similarly, the practice of Islam happens within a framework. Yea you can say that about Christianity too. Billions of people in the world (2.1) believe that Christianity happens within a framework. I trashed all religious/emotion driven thinking and learnt to think on my own and create my own frameworks. But thats off-topic.
July 17, 2009 11:12am
Manbeast: As you claim, Islam is highly concerned with how we treat one another. Your interactions with people on this website have shown everyone just how "well" you treat others.... Another thing which Islam emphasizes upon is education and life-long learning. You, citing a hollywood film, speaking with NO background in science, and making a flimsy argument by accusing the other person of being gay, speaks volumes about your adherence to this Islamic principle. You will most probably come up with a sharp, witty and satirical response to this - and that is your fort. Informed debate, on the other hand, is not.
July 17, 2009 2:56pm
I'm going to refrain from giving my opinion on this question, mostly becuase I wouldnt even know where to start, nor do I have much time.... however, I just wanted to comment that this question reminded me of the story of hte People of Prophet Lut in the Quran, and the terrible end that they met.... read up on those verses sometime if you ahve a chance. Prophet Lut in the Quran, Surah 7:80-84; Surah 11:63-83; Surah 15:57-77; Sura 25:160-175; Sura 25:54-58; Sura 29:26, 28-35; Sura 37:133-138; Sura 51:31-37; Sura 54:33-39; Sura 66:10.
July 17, 2009 8:45am
has every one of u lost the plot...debating about fi she should go back to her bf or stand by her gay mate ...OAY PPL DID SHE NOT MENTION THAT HER BF WANTS THE KID TO BE GOOD MUSLSIMS .....SO WHERE IN ISLAM DOES IT SAY TO HAVE A BF OR A MALE FRIEND...FOR GET THE GAY BIT FOR NOW.....MY ADCIVE TO U IS FORGET BOTH AND TRY LEARNING A LIL BIT BOUT UR RELIGION AND REPENT ....bless u
July 17, 2009 8:59am
You need to leave your boyfriend. If you can't be yourself with someone then its not worth it for the long haul.
July 4, 2009 8:01am
hi DB, there are certain inconsistencies in the question: - boyfriend wants kids to be Muslim fundamentalists, yet: - he has a girlfriend - asks her to wear sexy and revealing clothing Thats the inconsistency and the question overall just doesnt make sense. She left her boyfriend that easily because of a gay friend? Is that gay friend more important to her than the boyfriend? Why did she choose that boyfriend in the first place then? All of these inconsistencies are the hallmark of AuroraBoreEalis. Plus the fact that Aurora addresses "Anonymous" and calls her dumb. All these are the signs of Aurora. I dont know what she gets out of it really other then people trying to solve a puzzle. People do that every day with crossword puzzles. Its not that big of an achievement to get people to try to solve something. This is her way of attracting public attention because she doesnt have the ability to get that attention directly so its like some psycho putting out a banana peel on the road and then watching from the window. Thats exactly what she does. If this question wasnt made up by her, then her original question way back in time certainly proves this. In any case whether its an AB question or not, it doesnt make sense.
July 21, 2009 10:57pm
manbeast you probably wrote this article....your the kayne west of naseeb aka homosexual. The science is that your moving backwards (de-evolving). tell that to your teachers!!!
July 8, 2009 5:30pm
you are secretly in love with your gat friend..trust me!
July 8, 2009 5:57pm
>> We believe in unseen Not me. I believe in what I see and what science tells me. I reject everything else as heresy.
July 8, 2009 11:40pm
Jazzyjaan: You say that you belive in science and what you see. If you believe in and keep up with the various scientific disciplines, you should know that what you see isn't all that solid as you think it is. Whether you are referring to seeing in the literal/visual sense, or if you mean it in a "observing trends" sense. You have to accept the limitations of human observational abilities.... Scientists have developed lots of neat little things based on our understanding of physics.... except many proposed theories turn out having exceptions to them, or new data ends up opening new cans of worms for scientists all together... and theories and sometimes do break down. But do we discard the advances/inventions made under more primitive theories? No. Similarly, the practice of Islam happens within a framework. Just like scientific disciplines and resarch takes place within certain frameoworks. If you're "not religious" as your profile states, it doesn't really make much sense for you to play devil's advocate and ask questions which I believe that those of us who are religious, have long-ago rationalized to ourselves. You asked for example: "If God is so perfect, why did he create an imperfection such as, blah blah." We will obviously give you a response which operates within our framework. You were saying that this question posted here is a fake question and hence, a waste of time. Well...I don't mean any disrespect, but... is this not too a waste of time?
July 8, 2009 11:24am
You sheep are amazing, still fumbling around in pagan behaviors and rituals. Tell your fairy tale friend to move to Atlanta GA. There he will find many teamates in this welfare nation of amerikkka. Tell me-how do you sheep be "religious" and have *boyfriends* and gays and transplants and fruitcakes all in one?? How do you sheep combine these qualities together?? This is what puzzles me with you 2009 muslims. You all have blended the lines of religion and usa(pop culture). You cattle luvvvvv to rationalize your habits and lifestyle as well. MAybe you sheep re wrote the holy book? ? ? ? simply amazing - The sheep are indeed de-evolving. De- evolution at its finest.
July 8, 2009 1:03pm
Some animals eat their own kind. There are certain species of snakes which eat other snakes alive. So does this give justification for human's to eat human flesh? Or does it mean that we are genetically wired to be cannibals? No...It doesnt. We can't compare humans to animals. Animals can do anything because they dont have minds, decision making power and "intellectual" thoughts like humans. For a true muslim, who has "iman" and belief of unseen,the logic behind Allah's orders doesnt matter. He/She would follow it without asking for it's reasoning and logic. Religion is name of that. So if Allah has forbidden homosexuality, I won't try to find the logic or reason behind that. I will accept His orders. You cannot prove religion with science. You cant prove even existance of Allah and His angels, life after death, etc with science. We believe in unseen, that is the reason we are muslims. Thats the exact reason, we accept His orders, which maybe are against our own nature. For example, people like to drink, have freedom to have sex where ever and with whomever they want, most of are lazy about prayer's, fasting, because many things are difficult and harsh for us. But we do it because we are muslims and Allah has ordered us. Its simple, if we accept Islam as our religion, we would accept all of Allah's orders without arguing. If we dont believe in Allah and His orders,the debate is endless.
July 4, 2009 12:26am
Auroraborealis.... while you write a witty and entertaining piece in which you are critical of the "paranoid mullah types" - you don't quite make your case or aid in convincing anyone of anything. I even see your side... but you simply seem to be catering to the other extreme.... I agree that some people here might not be able to articulate themselves very well... nor have tangible/logical reasons as to why they believe something... but you seem like a smart/educated lady...why don't you put your own ideas/lifestyle on the table and intelligently discuss this rather than hiding behind humor?
July 3, 2009 5:56am
Repeating what I said earlier: This is most definitely a hoax question created by Aurora'Bore'alis. She likes the controversy. Stop responding. Go back and read that first original question she posted back then. Its happening again. You guys have been warned and she's laughing the fk at you all and having fun and well, so am I if you guys keep responding which you likely will.
July 3, 2009 9:56am
Jazzyjaan, You are one messed up dude!
July 3, 2009 11:46am
JJ I dont think this is a fake question because these problems do exist and this is nothing out of this world. Instead of acting intellegent just advice, there is no harm in it. :)
July 3, 2009 2:01pm
To all those brothers and sisters who "agree with me" and claim that homosexuality is indeed a choice. Let me clarify something to you all. Given the scientific data, and really looking at it critically and fairly.... There is an extremely tiny segment of the population for whom being attracted to the opposite sex is just about an impossibility. So you could say that yes... unfortunately Allah has made some people gay... just as he has made some people with no eye-sight... arms and legs...,etc, etc... The reality is.... when we start accepting these people fully and saying that.. "oh its a perfectly legitimate lifestyle..." then we open the door for people who are biologically "straight" to fiddle around, etc. If anyone here has seriously studied human sexuality in higher academia..(not News stories...) you will know that human sexuality is a very variable thing.. no one is 100% straight or 100% gay... The Greeks for example accepted such practices and before you knew it... almost all the men were engaging in sexual acts with younger boys and other male lovers... Why didn't the frequency of such behaviors stay at the (estimated naturally occuring) 1-3% for them? Because it became the norm. In another example, the Sambian tribe of Papau New Guinea, promotes the ingestion of semen of older males from a very young age. In their culture, you are thought to become a man by having older men ejaculating into your mouth. I'm not making this up. Look it up. After this has occured numerous times, one is expected to take up a wife,etc... Oh, and every man in their culture does this. What does this tell us about the effects of social acceptibility? This girl can keep her gay friend if she wants... but I want everyone to know who is taking her side... that your viewpoint is a little selfish does not fall in line with what science says.. nor what Allah says.... Life is tough.. you gotta make hard choices... I don't know what else to say...
September 6, 2009 12:59am
So your kids won't be "real muslims" if there's a gay person around? How exactly does that work? Will he sneeze on them and infect them with gayness? Will your kids one day say "hey maybe I'll try that"? Ridiculous. Or perhaps he is worried that a gay person might allow the kids access to differing viewpoints which would undermine his effort to rigidly indoctrinate them? How will he teach them who to hate? Pathetic.
July 16, 2009 10:52pm
Here is definite proof that there is a gay gene, at least for men. Have you seen these guys bodies? if I worked out 20 hours a day every day, I would not have a body like that. That must be genetic. QED
July 16, 2009 11:02pm
a gay person speaking on gayism? LOL !!! hhhehhahhheeeeeeeeeeyeehaw
July 16, 2009 3:12pm
it is ENTIRELY genetic. if you think there are people out there who could willfully go gay (and i mean 100% go gay) by choice then you are sadly mistaken. but, maybe it's not that you're sadly mistaken. maybe it's that your own perception of your own s3xuality is so leaning towards homos3xuality that it seems easy for you that one could be gay by choice. in that case, i pray that the society's you find yourselves in welcome homos3xuality and that you may live your lives as you were born/ programmed to. one poster even mentoned boys fooling around with each other when younger. ... like it or not, you engaged in homos3xual behavior. probably because you are gay. someone mentioned the greeks. i will say jsut that the greeks also defined two kinds of love. one is the kind of love between say, one's wife, and the baser, s3xual need (which they exercised with their students). THAT is haraam. but also, that is different from homos3xuality. homos3xuality means you share the former love, the one meant for, by example, one's wife, only with someone of the same s3x. finally, i will say this. reading all these posts, it is a no-brainer that muslims will never "overcome" the negative iamge we have, nor will we ever grow to become leaders. it's sad. such narrow mindedness. remember, islam isn't jsut about reading namaz or growing a beard. it's abotu how you live your life. that includes how you think, how you treat others.
July 14, 2009 2:13am
No one is saying that its all genetic, just that there is a possibility of it being genetic. Until they find definitive proof thats all they can say now. You have to admit tho, that is a BIG change from the thought that it was all a choice. I think you've hit the nail on the head with your last paragraph, change will happen weather you like it or not. Which is why the homosexual population is gaining more of a voice in society and the whole society is changing. Propaganda is after all, bisexual, and can swing both ways! =D
July 14, 2009 5:34pm
Alright, so many folks have commented on several things, many of which are repetition of one another so heres another one from my view. Anonymous, you are a whore! Your Ex boyfreind a pathetic slum dog looser and your gay freind a c066 $uka. If I knew you personally, I'd run you over with a lawnmower and help you feel the tiny amount of pain you will feel in your ultimate destination; HELL. As for your slum dog looser of a XBF, Id say to him...."so you are that fool who keeps getting cheated on for show casing your women" or "perhaps you are that moran who satisfies his low self esteem and ego by pimping his girls looks to other men" If you would like the lawnmover trip, I live in Chicago, do spend time in NY. Salam aliekum
July 15, 2009 6:30pm
u'all seen Bruno yet??
July 15, 2009 10:29pm
While I think you need to have had a serious talk with your friend about how the whole revealing clothing isn't what you are and he should respect that (if that is actually the case), I wouldn't recommend to keep dating a homophobe because that would just make me wonder what other biases he has which he hasn't revealed yet.
July 16, 2009 2:22am
i see the media (medium) is still promoting their gay agenda...hmmm wonder where its all leading to. hmmmm follow the yellow brick road...
July 16, 2009 7:59am
"My boyfriend wanted me to leave my best friend of seven years because he feared that our children would not be true Muslim fundamentalists if they were brought up around my gay friend.".... LOL..You've got to be kidding me!! As Muslims, aren't we NOT supposed to be dating and mingling freely with the opposite sex??? If we all refrained from what we're not supposed to be doing in the first place, we wouldn't be having all of these issues...What a waste of time.
July 16, 2009 8:07am
your either gay yourself or plain stupid
July 16, 2009 11:22am
NEXT TOPIC. :P
July 14, 2009 12:30am
To clear up the semantics issue here..... I want to point to certain key terms which these studies often use within their texts, which further sheds light on my argument. If the central message of the studies can be taken and summed into a sentence, it would sound something like this: "The research suggests that there may be genetic components to homosexual identity." We need to be a little critical of some of the terms used here: "suggests" "may be" and "components" (Vocabulary which is pretty standard and common to all these studies) 1. If we take a look at "suggests" it implies that conclusive evidence has not been provided as of yet. Some of the studies even note paradoxical or contradictory findings, either within the studies themselves, or in other studies. 2. Ther further addition of the "may be," as noted by the studies themselves, further chips away at the strength of the research and the only thing that that we do know for sure at the end of the day is that these findings may or may not be valid. 3. Finally, the presence of "components" automatically means that there is at least a 50% chance* that the environment had something to do with it too. If the studies themselves are presenting all of this with a grain of salt - heck, with a lump of salt, then isn't it a gross over-statement to say that "Hmmmm... welllll.... science seems to be saying that it's genetics......" Based on what I know, all science will do is fine-tune some of these findings, and tell us with a little more confidence that it's genetics and it's the environment working in tandem. If you study genetics you will find that genes are being turned on and off all the time. On tolerance... 5000+ years of civilization.. and what have we had? One people swallowing up another... or infiltrating them and changing entire value systems... Great civilizations have come and gone...or morphed entirely... Thus, if I find myself in a society which I do not agree with - I can yes, go find another society which better suits me, or I can affirm my existence in that society - it has happened throghout history and is taking place this very second within the realms of law, public policy, business, etc. We all carry within us that special gift of... propaganda! :D
July 12, 2009 10:44pm
One of the things Muslims hate the most is being dicriminated, whether it be linked to terrorist, headscarfs, or whatever; however discrimination is the very thing many Muslims are most guitly of. If you happen to have a gary friend, and he happens to view gasy negatively, it simplply means you are not comapitble and should go seperate ways. I'm not here to say whos right and whos wrong, its just that this is a good harbinger of things to come. You made the right move before things got too deep.
July 12, 2009 6:56pm
thats fabulous! Good for u gf!
July 12, 2009 8:01pm
ConfusedCA-nian : I looked at the 3 pubmed studies you posted and I am familiar with all three. It's not so much a matter of the studies being proved wrong, or right. The studies simply give us small glimpses into the matter and are self-admittedly limited in their scope. When the layman skims over these abstracts (Let's be fair.... they are after-all, abstracts, as currently viewable - unless you pay to obtain the full articles) he has a tendency to go: "aha! Research! so it's settled!" But you and I both know that is far from the full picture... At this point, it would be safe to say that the information suggests neither it being genetic, nor a choice, but in fact, both. Now lets take off our biologist/logician/humanist hats off for a second..... You have a journal which you recently posted in which you blast Saudi Arabia for giving Israel the green light on Iran. Visibly, this act by Saudi Arabia has roused certain emotions within you. Very simply put, the logic must go something like this: "Israel, a country which has committed horrid acts against Muslims, is being allowed by a Muslim country to attack another!" - The reasoning is simple and clear-cut. You did not sit there considering every scenerio, political background, greater good, multiple agendas at play, pros and cons, the last 100 years of history, etc, etc, etc to form your opinion on this matter. Similarly, when I lambast homosexuality, I do it with very clear-cut reasoning in my mind. I ask myself "Does the acceptance of certain behaviors in our society also promote them? " As I have previously stated in my responses to others, they most definitely do. You stated initially that a person is either heterosexual, or homosexual (and possibly bi) and respectfully counter this by referring you to "the Kinsey scale," or 'the Klein Sexual Orientation Grid' and actual research on this matter which shows that people do experiment and have varying degrees of attraction at different times towards different sexes. In other words, your sexual orientation gets created as you grow... (possibly becomes fixed at some point... but again... not a set in stone, rule) In my opinion, it is very likely that the less than 1% of "God-made/nothing can be done about 'em" homosexuals have artificially raised theirs numbers through sheer influence and social acceptibility. If I have a kid one day, who happens to have a passing thought about findind someone of the same sex attractive, I don't want him or her to be further encouraged in "discovering" this side, and eventually giving it a life of its own, just because society is "ok" with it. Growing up in the U.S. I knew of at least 2 people during my high school years who were severely confused about their orientation, messed around here n' there, but later on went onto get married, etc - and if you ask 'em about it now, they will say... "oh it was just a phase..." A third female I knew of, watched R rated films all the time - and what is portrayed in these films in a hypersexualized/idealized way? females ofcourse. So this perfectly straight, guy crazy girl, considered seeking a female companion during her college years. It never materialized because the oppertunity never arose I guess.... but if it had... who knows what her orientation might be. Bottom Line: There's no suggestion that homosexuality is a choice, nor is there a suggestion that its genetic. It's truly up in the air. Until then, the Gays WILL be marginalized as far as I'm concerened. Sorry Gays, but you're going to affect my kids one day and I won't have it.
July 11, 2009 11:21pm
I graciously accepted your invitation and looked up articles on Pubmed (which is a data base for all articles published in scientific journals). I've attached a few that say what its genetic and not a choice. To be fair, I didn't look up those that say it isn't. 1- www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov 2- www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov 3- www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov There are a whole bunch more. Mind you its still a field that is being research, and it could very well be that the articles that are coming out now will be one day proved wrong, any body in anything bio related will tell you there are no purely biological laws. However, so far, the information suggests its genetic and not a choice!
July 11, 2009 8:54pm
ConfusedCA-nian : You dispense some sensible advice except on your views on homosexuality. I don't think you have a well-rounded reading on the subject, and the "scientific literature" you are referring you - you have simply skimmed at best. I'm not here to tell you tell you how much more I know, and how little you know.... it's simply an invitation to look further into the matter in a scholarly manner... :)
July 3, 2009 4:44am
I agree with Nachputtar... Anyway, Anonymous' situation is really screwed up. She didnt leave her boyfriend when he forced her to wear revealing clothes but left him when he forces her to leave her best gay friend. Leave the "boy" friend, keep the "gay" friend, and then goto a Muslim website to get opinion. Double standards at their best. As for those people here in the Vibes, who imply that being gay is not a choice, but biological condition, should not forget that homosexuality is something which has been made forbidden and haram by Allah and all His Prophets. If it were a biological condition, it wouldnt be haram. Allah is pure and He like pure things. He will never make someone deviant and pervert by nature. Unfortunately, these (so-called modern and forward thinking )people instead of blaming the deviancy of homosexuality on the gays themselves, they try to blame it on genetics/ biological, so they are blaming Allah (na'odu-bi-Allah) because He is the creater of all living things, genetics, DNA and all. The lie of homosexuality being a medical/biological condition has been purported by the gays themselves, so they can gain some respect and sympathy from general public. I know many people wont agree with me and my Islamic view point, because for them, whosoever talks about Islam is living in caves. They can never understand true meaning of Islam.
July 11, 2009 1:56pm
that was very well said. I totally agree with you! He definitely was only pushing her into it being 'her' decision.
July 11, 2009 8:43am
Allah loves all of Her children (even the gay ones) We're not ones to judge - we just live and do the best we can - be proud - you made the right decision
July 1, 2009 6:44am
In my opinion, you are confused about yourself, your religion and your priorities in life. First of all you should clear your mind about your belief (if you have any!!). Your boyfriend seems to be a God fearing muslim, who is not perfect, but atleast knows his limits. And if he is talking about marriage, children, etc, it means he is serious about you and your future together as husband and wife. If he has problem with your gay friend, I think he is right. Because no muslim father would want someone having a bad influence on his children. THats the reason parents protect their children from alchoholic, smokers,drug abusers, and pedophiles. I also think that you are in love with your gay friend, who seems to you as "sweetest guy on earth" and you left your boyfriend for your gay friend....Your mind is really screwed up. You know what, I would advise your boyrfriend to dump you as well, you dont deserve him.
July 1, 2009 8:09am
How can anyone say that this woman has no belief because she has a gay friend? A simple problem can not help anyone conjure up a complete image or know exactly what she is made of? Well, anonymous, I think you need to decide what your priorities are. If you think, he doesn't respect your relations now, probably he will always bully you. He would have scored a point had he been a little more mature about handling the situation rather than stamping his feet on the ground like a school boy. I am sure he could have nicely talked to you about it and explained what he feared. I am sure you guys could have come on this together, but if it is enforced then think again. Probably he will never consult you in the future either.
July 1, 2009 9:06am
Most of the straight people have different opinions on gay people. I personally think they should be shot in the head and bring back to life and shot again. But I can't personally help it if they are sick in the mind. Sorry this is going no where let me get back on track. Lets first agree the fact we all are not perfect Muslims may Allah guide us (Ameen). If he thinks you should not be friends with him then he has a reason he doesnt feel safe or he is just insecured, Because a gay friend is perhaps almost like a female friends and he knows you talk to him about everything or whatever you do. Lets keep the religon aside and talk about our principles, honestly ask yourself this if your son tells you "Mom i think i like guys" will you flip out? or you going to be like " yea beta do whatever suits you" its your call hun! Guys like sexy girl friends/ wives so they can show off infront of their friends.
July 1, 2009 9:07am
Most of the straight people have different opinions on gay people. I personally think they should be shot in the head and bring back to life and shot again. But I can't personally help it if they are sick in the mind. Sorry this is going no where let me get back on track. Lets first agree the fact we all are not perfect Muslims may Allah guide us (Ameen). If he thinks you should not be friends with him then he has a reason he doesnt feel safe or he is just insecured, Because a gay friend is perhaps almost like a female friends and he knows you talk to him about everything or whatever you do. Lets keep the religon aside and talk about our principles, honestly ask yourself this if your son tells you "Mom i think i like guys" will you flip out? or you going to be like " yea beta do whatever suits you" its your call hun! Guys like sexy girl friends/ wives so they can show off infront of their friends. So if you are not into him so just move on and i am sure your gay friend will fin you a nice guy who is open to gay people :)
July 11, 2009 3:08am
Don't know what you're confused about, since you've already broken up with your boyfriend, looks like the deeds done and you're decision is made. But the way I see it, 1- If you and your boyfriend (or ex-boyfriend as the case maybe) had such fundamental differences as to who is 'proper' or 'acceptable' friends, then I'd say you guys were heading for trouble at some point, so breaking up was probably a good idea. 2- The fact that your boyfriend wanted you to leave your best friend coupled with the fact that he wanted you to wear revealing clothing pretty much tells me that he wasn't interested in having a future. What man wants other men ogling his prospective partner? Especially a DESI man? Give me a break. He obviously wanted you to break it off, this way he could appease his conscience and say that you broke it off and not him. If you had left your friend, I'd bet he'd ask you to do something else even more extreme, to which you'd either agree or told him to go to hell. 3- More and more scientific evidence is coming out to prove that being homosexual is not a choice. Its like saying, you choose to be straight, does this mean that on some level you're actually gay? Doesn't make any sense. And no growing up being surrounded or in the presence of a homosexual doesn't up your chances of being gay (where do people come up with such stupidity?) 4- As for the double standard, that's life. Everyone has their own set of morals/double standards etc. There are those who'll try to shove their morals down your throat under some guise or another by either calling it 'religious' or 'open-minded'. You live your life to the best of your ability, making decisions with the resources and information you have at your disposal, and then live with the outcome.
July 1, 2009 9:19am
Anonymous, It is obvious you are not happy with your boyfriend's prejudice against your friend. The ultimate decision is really upto you. You must decide what is more important to you and what will make you happy in the long run. If you are willing to give up your child hood friend, is your boyfriend someone you think is worth it? Do you really see yourself raising a family with someone that is a religious fundamentalist? Good luck!
July 1, 2009 10:23am
if you established conjugal relations outside of marriage with your "boyfriend" then you are engaging in HARAAM. Whether or not your other friend is gay is inconsequestial and should have no bearing on how you are being judged by others. if you are headed to marriage with this "boyfriend" of yours then you must respect his wishes. The relationship of a husband and wife is far greater than all friendships put together. Do you want to have a happy life or a sweet talker? however, If your HUSBAND frowns within the institution of marriage to make a safe abode for his children and keep them way from certain influences, then you have to respect his wishes. If your HUSBAND says that he would like you to dress in a certain fashion, you are completely free to do so. Thats why its called a marriage and there is proof upon proof that marriage is equivalent to 50% of our entire faith with very well defined rights of the wife and the husband. too bad that no one cares to read up. Have you been reading too much cosmopolitan lately?
July 1, 2009 10:34am
you're not an idiot, like most posters. but you are misguided. you mention how will the original poster answer her kids when she sees the uncle actign in deviant ways... well, how will the original poster answer her kid when the kid sees his friends believing in jesus as god? how will she answer her child when s/he asks why some people worship statues? how will she answer her child when he asks why he can't eat pork, but all his friends can? or drink alcohol? your argument here just shows your bias agaisnt homos3xuality. now you're undoubtedly saying, "well, the mother will teach her kid to have a strong faith, and not be tempted by other religions that practice haraam things." why can't the mother do/ act the same with the gay uncle? and more importantly, homos3xuality is a biological condition, it is NOT a choice. condemning gay people is akin to condemning a parapelegic for living a life of sin because s/he cannot perform prayers the right way. so when the kid asks what the deal is, the mother explains how some people are created different. being around gay people does not make YOU gay. being around gay people may make you realize that you are gay, if you happen to be wired that way, biologically speaking. but it does not turn straight people gay. also, everyone on this site goes out of their way to say they cannot judge anyone, for how someone is is Allah's will. why don't you people apply that attitude towards gay people? did Allah not create them?
July 1, 2009 10:35am
how are you able to access the internet from the cave you live in?
July 10, 2009 12:53pm
yea
July 10, 2009 1:28pm
I understand your feelings as I have some gay classmates who are very nice. I agree with the people who suggested you help your gay friend to become straight. I wish it was possible. Also, I think you better leave your two-faced b/f who wants a sexy g/f.
July 1, 2009 1:44pm
i have always thought that each friend in your life represents parts of your personality - that's why you get along. if a guy you are seeing doesn't like your friends, it is because there are parts of your personality he does not like either. the real point you should be considering is, what about YOU does he not like? and how many other friends of yours does he not like? Those are your real questions.
July 1, 2009 4:07pm
I dont get it. Definition of Gay from MW: www.merriam-webster.com 1 a: happily excited : merry b: keenly alive and exuberant : having or inducing high spirits 2 a: bright, lively b: brilliant in color So these gay people are just more excited, happy and exuberant than the average person. Why would anyone have a problem with that? Being Gay is better than being Sad, right?
July 1, 2009 6:23pm
I think your boyfriend needs to grow up
July 1, 2009 7:36pm
HOLY SMOKES---are you kidding me?why are you with this idiot? he is dating you and telling you to wear revealing clothes because he is a fundamental muslim---dude is it me or is this site getting stupider by the day? and if someone is gay or not is not your business---Allah has said to stop something you see wrong with hand, if you are not capable of doing that, then stop by use of tongue and if you can't do that, feel that the wrong is wrong in your heart-and that is the lowest form--- Allah told Lutt AS to leave the people of his nation and not turn back and look as he was going to put azaab on them for the practice of sodomy--aka God took that responsibility of punishment in His hands and not that of humans---if your friend is gay, he is gay---yes it may be difficult for you to raise kids by being friends with him, showing that you accept his lifestyle---could you tell him to keep his gayness hidden? you can't really do that---when ideologies conflict, eventually you end up drifting apart, it doesn't have to be a break up, but just an amicable distance---you would still remain friends but may be he wont be involved in every single moment of your life---i dunno--raise your kids believing in the religion and its teachings----dont teach hate, ---but teach wrong from right ---kids are NOT dumb and if you explain things to them logically they sort of get it
July 1, 2009 7:44pm
you really crack me up
July 1, 2009 9:39pm
this is interesting, boy friend, gay friend, defending gay, putting down gay, being very liberal and having completely Western views and thoughts in a "Muslim" social network... I guess alls good since the questioneer did not ask, "...based on Islamic views, give me advice"
July 2, 2009 1:48am
nice comments....lol
July 2, 2009 2:56am
is this anonymous the same as the other one?
July 2, 2009 10:56am
This is probably another hoax question by AuroraBore
July 2, 2009 3:41pm
Thanks DrReema, you finally agreed with me on something. Yess, I did it. I did the impossible.
July 2, 2009 4:52pm
Ok so I've read questions and the advice from time to time....dunno whether this is a real question or not...am not to judge.... Follow the path of righteousness, and the path that will bring you closer to Allah (SWT).... Be honest with yourself, and your soul....listen to your gut instinct for it is rarely wrong.... I have my own personal opinions on homosexuality.... as does everyone else, but if you are a Muslim, pick up the blessed Quran and read what it says about it, also research scientifically and see how the religion and science say pretty much the same thing! We live in a free society, and a world that is accepting to alot of things that may not be "right"...morally or ethically...but then again we live in a society bound by laws and rules etc.... so all in all.... do what makes you happy in this lifetime, but don't forget, there is a bigger diety to answer to, when your time is up. May Allah guide you and all who have commented or given u advice to the right path, and may you live a peaceful life. Ameen
July 2, 2009 10:16pm
any man or woman who tries to impose restrictions on whom his/her significant other can be friends with, needs to be dumped immediately. life is too short as it is. it's better to live it with someone who respects you, your choices and your friends.
July 3, 2009 12:19am
For the most part that is. There is no "gay gene." At least that is not the whole story. People who cater to these ideas usually get their scientific information from CNN and Newsweek.(which is often dumbed down and oversimplified) Yes it is true that biological factors play a role... but biological factors can also play a role in making me violent. Am I out killing people? no. biological factors also give me a predisposition to do a variety of things, which I may or may not CHOOSE to do. There are studies which SUGGEST differences... Nothing conclusive has been said on this matter. Whether its studies on the differences in hypothalamus structure, pheromone preference, or X-chromosome dna marker research (which simply points to a locus) and the researchers themselves suspect that this region MAY predispose people. Being Gay/Straight/Bi are not 3 separate phases, but one single continium. In fact, for women, it is suggested that they may have two separate scales of attraction towards each sex. People who identify themselves as heterosexuals engage in homosexual acts at times... and even children engage in same-sex shenanagins but grow up to be fine most of the time.. Finally, there are studies that look at identical twins and find that the frequency of the brother being gay was 52% if one was gay... So these guys shared the same genetic makeup.. and you can say "oh look! it's half nature and half nurture!" Wrong. That percentage goes way down considering that identical twins are often raised and dressed the same way.. Anyways, back to gay men.. About 2-3% of men consider themselves gay. I would say that less than 1% of them are truly, out of their hands, "biologically" gay. And chances are that the next gay guy you see just couldn't reconcile a few things in his life... As for your problem and what to do: He was your boyfriend. Boyfriends acquire girlfriends so that they can have arm-candy, a sexual outlet, etc. etc. You agreed to this. Now he wants to make you his wife. From what you've written, you have not suggested anything else about him other than the fact that he doesn't want to adversely affect your kids. As I have tried to explain above, there is more ENVIRONMENT that goes into determining the the gender of your kid, and no matter how lax YOUR morals/values are at this moment... when you have kids you will WISH your kids had some firmer religious views, which you're knocking off as "fundamentalist" right now... So give it some deep thought... married life is a whole another ballgame than dating and "looking sexy" as you put it...
July 3, 2009 12:33am
Oh ok... so since in the last 100 years, we have had certain changes in the way things are run.. and this paves the way for what the future looks like? I suppose you aren't familiar with pandemics.... world wars... stray meteorites.... other natural disasters.. and then we'll see how applicable and "universal" your thinking is. Heck, women were given the right to vote 80 some years ago in the US? The Quran never ENDORSED slavery. Read the context. then talk. Indyanwriter: Life is too short as it is should be the REASON to compromise, find a mate, and get married. Looking at the divorce rates in the West, we've all seen what being "independent" has gotten you women. Single motherhood. Ok, maybe i'm being harsh... and yes there are imposing/evil men out there... but I see women using this "la la la i'm gonna get liberated" card wayyy too often and the outcome doesn't really serve anyone in the end.
July 3, 2009 12:41am
Respect is what we all are talking about over here. Let Allah be the judge of what happens and lets not take it into our own hands. None of us are perfect. Islam is not only about homosexuality, its very vast. You cant bottle it up and stick to things that only make life easier for us and forget the rest. I agree with Uzmanca79.
July 5, 2009 8:17am
Oops correction: she says gayness is contagious in response 2 and not 3. Corrected version: ----------- Response 2 is anti-gay: She says the moral fabric of society in the West has been decayed because of homosexuality. She also says "gayness is contagious" Response 3 is nuetral: She says she sees nothing wrong with homosexuality. ----------- In summary, response 2 and 3 contradict each other.
July 5, 2009 4:53pm
Aurora, what do you think? Dont these two responses of yours contradict each other? ----------- Response 2 is anti-gay: She says the moral fabric of society in the West has been decayed because of homosexuality. She also says "gayness is contagious" Response 3 is nuetral: She says she sees nothing wrong with homosexuality. ----------- What do you have to say to that? And signing in with one of your alternate ID to give yourself a 5+ rating - sad. lol
July 5, 2009 6:12pm
I dont know what she's trying to do with ya. What do you think of those two contradictory responses from her? Fishy, right?
July 5, 2009 7:20pm
Aurora, I feel that you have also picked and chosen my statements selectively. When I speak of the Greeks for example, I not only mention young boys, but also male lovers. I also mention the Sambian tribe of Papau New Guinea, to illustrate the point that - Yes, morality indeed becomes whatever the majority finds "ok." I never said that it is the gateway to child molestation. Knowing what we know from the disciplines of human sexuality, biology, psychology and sociology, it can be said with surity that the majority of people who are gay, are so because the environment played a significant (if not larger) role in designating their sexual orientation. In societies where you allowed certain practices to take place freely, they did indeed become wide-spread. So, on homosexuality, I feel extremely comfortable giving the "cuz God said so" reason, or the "scientific/most appropriate deduction" reason, as to why this phenomenon needs to be met with resistence. As for slavery - this is a separate debate, which requires knowledge of not only the Qur'an but also the hadith, Shariah Law, and the practices of Muslims in various cultures and time-periods. Something I (and nor you) am qualified to engage in, I suspect. Jazzy, It still doesn't matter to me whether it was fake or not... It's food for thought? it's a mock debate? Whatever it is it's an exchange of ideas and that's good enough for me :) (and Aurora I guess).
July 5, 2009 9:10pm
But dont you think you would be concerned if someone gives contradictory responses? Can you tell me how she can think there's nothing wrong with homosexuality and yet think that it has decayed the moral fabric of the western society? Are these blatant contradictions of no concern to you with regards to revealing the motives of the person who made these statements? --- Response 2 is anti-gay: She says the moral fabric of society in the West has been decayed because of homosexuality. She also says "gayness is contagious" Response 3 is nuetral: She says she sees nothing wrong with homosexuality. ---
July 5, 2009 10:38pm
Aurora: Iran is an interesting case.... they don't quite accept homosexuality... their stance is... "you're gay? no no no... we're going to give you a sex change operation if you don't want to be a real man..."
July 5, 2009 11:19pm
Jazzyjaan: She was being cynical and using outrageous statements to express her dismay and poke fun at "fundamentalists"... She didn't actually believe that "gayness is contagious" I hope that clears up the confusion...
July 6, 2009 7:56am
just a simple question..Was Adam made for Eve or Steve??
July 6, 2009 9:04am
>> She was being cynical and using outrageous statements to express her dismay and poke fun at "fundamentalists"... She didn't actually believe that "gayness is contagious" Well its a waste of time I think to deal with anyone who says stuff they dont mean in the course of a serious debate.
July 6, 2009 3:00pm
There ya go! Why doesnt god heal amputees? Why does God make some animals homosexual? Good questions for the God-believers.
July 6, 2009 3:33pm
Wrkingonimaan: I'm not sure who you were addressing in your last reply, but I wanted to clear up some things... 1. There have been documented cases of atleast a 100+ animal species which partake in homosexual behavior. So that's not a good argument to use. 2. It is estimated that 1-3% of males in North America and Europe are (self-identified) gay. I believe that a large portion of these people are gay because of social/environmental reasons. The number of people who are TRULY homosexual, and NOTHING could've been done of them are probably less than 1% in my opinion. 3. Allah has given human beings all sorts of challenges. Disabilities, hardships,etc ,etc. And perhaps ambiguity in one's sexual orientation is one such challenge. There are even people out there who are asexual. It is believed that 1% of the population is asexual. That is, they have no desire whatsoever to do anything with a guy or a girl. To talk about whether this is natural or unnatural is meaningless and debatable. Hinduism divided people into castes.... why? to maintain order. If the shoodars/sudras were getting marginalized. too bad. They had to deal with it for the greater good of society. Islam's goal is to maintain order as well. If less than 1% of the population (truly biological homosexuals) are being marginalized - or if they have to spend the rest of their life single. So be it.
July 6, 2009 3:44pm
There is no comparions b/w animals and humans. Humans are humans, and animals will always be animals. Why we human's wear clothes? why dont we stay naked like animals? We cant take out an example of few animal behaviour and try to justify homosexuality in humans. Actually humans have strange psychology.,,,They can be nice, gentle, loving, caring,,,and they can be killers and psychos like Hitler. We sometimes see extreme opposite traits in same person. A mother can take care of her child or kill her own baby. A brother can engage in sex with her own sister. A psycho like Hitler can kill hundred of thousands of innocent people. Similarly, humans can choose to have sex with same sex. No one ever said that its not possible to do that. As God didnt make Hitler kill innocent people, He didnt make some gays the way they are. If someone gives you a knife, you can use it to kill someone or use it for some useful purpose. Its all upto us. We can choose to be good or bad. Humans can engage in sex with same sex, animal sex, incest, pre-maritcal sex etc, because they have all the "tools" and will power to do it. I am trying to stress the fact that justifying a appalling act like homosexuality, just for the reason that humans are capable to do it, is totally wrong. Killers are not killers by nature or biologically, similarly gays are not gays by nature or biologically.
July 7, 2009 9:13am
Miss Anonymous., If the reason of your break up was because your BF did not want you to have a GAY friend., This I beleive is not the right way to deal with the situation., I do not want to give you any religious advice but from You are going to spend the rest of your life with your Gay friend or your husband. I would like to just say that all husbands would prefer their wife not to have any MALE (non relative) friends be it Gay or not. This should go both ways. If he is not a friend of your husbands., He is not a friend of yours. If a girl is not a friend of yours, than she should not be a friend of your husband. Things are always easier to just keep a distance from the opposite sex in a friendly manner so it does not lead to anything. Life can be very easy and simple, We just choose to complicate it!!!
July 7, 2009 10:00am
hello,Ms. Anonymous. It really hurts when u have to leave ur loved ones either it is ur BF or gay friend. As sb. comented tht if ur BF doesn't like ur gay frnd then this also means tht he doesn't like some part of ur personality. Probably it is true but, as of my observation and understanding that such things matter in future. Of u won't like ur kids being homosexual, the may choose to be like this for the reason that they will see since their childhood that there is no problem being homosexual. I do not have this much experience of my life but hope tht u will agree with me that rules and regulations in every religion prohibit homosexuality. above all The relationship that is built under the institution of marriage helps only men and women from commiting sins and a lot of diseases. I do not think that anyone coming into ur life would accept ur best friend as a gay. It is easy to say but it isa atruth that If u want to get married u have to work out either to break up with ur gay friend or to help be to become straight. it is not easy but not impossible. Best wishes and good luck to u...
July 7, 2009 10:25am
Anonymous -There are a no. of thgs which u should also think, b4 leaping further ahead ! U have broken wd some1 who has been urging u to wear revealing clothes- it is his own character s loop-hole- never mind, & Allah has the Authority to send a pious man for u. Undoubtedly, a respectable & nice muslim lady should NEVER be married to any man who puts an unnecessary frown on his face, after knowing her well enough, or, for whom taking genuine stands for the lady is a burden, in places/situations where he must. BUT DNT 4GET ! if the guy is Right in some decision, then it is u, who should remain flexible & THINK b4 u define ur pathways in life ! Ur best friend is a gay? Ok! U left ur boyfriend bcz of his own degraded mentality & then his dislikes for ur friend- but remember tht in life, Friends r friends, best or least! First & foremost, make friends wd good ppl who wud guide u 2wrds good & not ppl who hold evil inside- besides tht, even if u want to keep friends without this discrimination, eventually every1 has to live their own family life. When u get married, ur focus changes, & u keep up wd all of ur friends at an amicable distance. Thts how life goes on. U could discuss this thg with the boy wd whom u broke. How many more men wud tolerate ur friendship wd this fellow whom u say is a gay ? if u will seek a desi, im sure, 99% wud dislike it. (Sthg Allah has disliked, so will ev1 ! ) How do u know, some1 else may not leave u, next in life, bcz u keep up wd ur friend? Think factually !!! Now for ur friend: (only God knows how far he might have gone till now- may Allah Forgive, ameen) but, if he has suffered some kind of physical debility by birth, then thts a separate issue. But if this homosexuality is a behavioral/ psychological problem, then, its an illness- ur friend is mentally & psychologically ill, & instead of fighting wd ur spouse, next in life, MAKE SURE that u help ur friend cure this illness- 'the illness of the heart', as to my understanding from the Quran- he needs a therapist who would help him quit this sin & lead/ begin a normal life. The ppl of Madyan, Prophet Lut's(AS) ppl were erased from the surface of earth via 5 (Most Strict) Divine Punishments, given all 2gether & all at once (sthg not exercised on other nations, i.e. the other nations were erased by just one punishment or so) Hence, we pity this fellow if he is a muslim. Fornication & Masturbation/ Homosexuality are amongst the MAJOR SINS & there is a v strict punishment for them, UNLESS that the SINNER SHOULD REPENT from his heart & NEVER INDULGE into any such activity again (Al-Furqan- 68-71) ! Allah does not bring out good from the evil ! (Al-Kahf) . The sin should be condemned & in my opinion, has been condemned by ur ex-boyfriend, altho' he was no good himself. Evil must be uprooted, since it gives way to further sins. It will ruin his life & lives of ppl close to him. Help ur friend to get cured, & u dnt cut off ur family ties in life bcz of him ! Lastly, by the way, there no space for keeping 'Boyfriends' for a respectable muslim girl/ lady- u both knew each other, fine! U got befriended- fine! U ppl intended to marry- then make a family tie- at least an engagement, to let the society know tht next in life, u r going to b in a respectful & pious relationship; its part of ur own rights as a muslim girl. WALK RIGHTEOUSLY IN LIFE & ALWAYS LOOK B4 U LEAP, NEXT !!!
July 7, 2009 12:36pm
If homosexuality is an appalling act as you say, why did Allah make some animals homosexuals?
July 22, 2009 6:10am
Man is known by the company he keeps! Your BF is a muslim right? He may be "double standards" at this point but when it comes to having children and raising them properly every muslim think in a traditional way, regardless of what he has been doing. Yes, it is wrong being hypocrite but still give him a chance. At least he is serious about raising kids properly and its good and positive thing. Most single muslim men are adventurous at some point but when they calm down and more mature, they could become a great father and partner specially raising kids. As far as gay friend around in the family, I can understand his concerns. You want your children to be a good muslims. Right? Then it would be a "double standard" having gays around your kids while teaching Islam at the same time. It would nothing but harm in their development process. They will end up confused and stray away from Islam for good. We can only teach our children tolerance, of course.
July 22, 2009 5:07pm
Auroraborealis : I'm not a conspiracy theorist. never was. Btw You touched upon an interesting topic when responding to Sufidesi... If you study the Crusades, you definitely see examples of complete and utter idiocracy on the part of the Muslims as well as the Christians. There were so many rivalries and transgressions committed within each camp, it's really mind-blowing... Plenty of chances wasted in which all the other side had to do was unite or give up certain excesses (at least for a while) and they could've ruled the world - But thats how things go. Call it human folly, whatever... When Sufidesi states that leadership/success in the material world is a by-product of spiritual success, it's not all that ridiculous of a statement. One day I was helping out at a kid's summer camp and one of the kids asked the speaker as to why the present condition of the muslims is as such, and the speaker replied: "because we have lost our way." and I thought to myself... that's nonsense.... Now, 5 years later, I realize that in some senses, it is quite true. For example: if Imran (Manchild) was actually a pious muslim, and saw something wrong with taking road-trips with 2 other females, he'd actually have some agreement with the rest of the Ummah. Perhaps he'd also have some better manners. I know for a fact that when I'm done my wudu, and a friend calls me up saying "F this, F that" it really makes me cringe and I try to avoid such interaction. Or when some half-naked chick comes on TV, normally I'd stare for a few extra seconds, but being aware that I don't want to spiritually detract from my state, I avoid such a thing. This sort of behavior keeps me glued to the rest of the Ummah. You can call me a sheep, or mindless or whatever. I know that it brings me tremendous peace, tranquility, discipline and even creativiity in my life. Islam has brought more successes in my life, way more than any college degree or money could have. The muslims will NEVER EVER reach any period of enlightenment unless they join together on universally accepted norms and positions. The "progressive/liberal" movement are 1000s of different factions which will be swept away, assimilated and dismissed. It's one of those "time will tell" things but that's just my view at the moment. Imran, you're a brother to me, by faith and by ethnicity - Your abuse doesn't help anyone.
July 23, 2009 12:56am
why is naseeb so damn boring?
July 23, 2009 10:29am
This was a joke right?
July 23, 2009 10:53pm
This topic is saturated beyond belief.. I don't believe anyone here is interested in the insults and name-calling that some people have resorted to. Can someone please come up with another vibe question asap????????????
July 23, 2009 11:05pm
"My boyfriend doesnt let me wear the Hijab. Should I stop making lassi for him?"
July 24, 2009 12:22am
i think 'constantly whining and complaining' may be a slight exaggeration...once every six months may be more on point. having said that, i like it better when you pretend i don't exist, the same way i do you. :P
July 24, 2009 4:44am
no, not sore. just think you are irritating and not old enough to have an opinion i care about. is there something so wrong with just not wanting to interact with you? why does every mole hill turn into a mountain with desi people? oh, here's why....you can take the desi out of pakistan, but you can't take pakistan out of the desi. drama drama drama. its the dna or something...i declined the whole list of picture requests i had just to clean out the mailbox and i got 20 email from dudes taking it personally and calling me names. mental. anyway, enough - i wish naseeb would change this stupid question now.
July 24, 2009 11:32am
you are right. but it is not just your ideas that are boring boring but also so are your lame put downs. deleting activity alert NOW.
July 24, 2009 7:25pm
your gay friend has always been there for you and is the sweetest guy on earth...your bf was not religious at all and has double standards...your gay best friend obviously embodies more of the qualities in a human that Allah encourages than ure bf...to me ure bf was more likely to be a hinderance to ure kids becoming good muslims by being such a poor example of one himself...so u did the right thing to remove him and keep the gay friend...
July 25, 2009 12:45am
You know what... Picking up where Redrose65 left off.... What you need to do Anonymous, is to focus every iota of your god given womanlyness to make this sweetest guy on earth all yours forever and ever. We need to bring him on the other team.... Just imagine what an epic this will make..you'll both..in fact all three of you will go down in history. I see bollywood gold here!
July 25, 2009 2:26pm
cat fight alert - Aasmaan_asl versus Auraroborealis LOL Take it easy ladies...Its all good.
July 26, 2009 11:49pm
YOU guys are all dumb you need to respect Gay ppl - fine do so Dont mess up your own personal lives .... think abt it Will your family accept it if your own bro was a HOMO ?? NO MUSLIM ppl want to fully embrace gay ppl - YES this is a biased attitude ,,, sad but true