Undecided in Love
I have been in a stable relationship for 2 years and I really love my boyfriend who is a very caring guy and the last two years have been full of happiness. Recently, he proposed to me and I said yes. But since then, I have been feeling like I gave the answer too soon as there are some unresolved issues which are confusing me.
The thing is that I still have feelings for my ex who broke up with me 4 years ago. I thought that I was over him but 6 months ago I accidently ran into him at a mutual friend’s wedding. We got to talking and all the feeling I thought had gone away, came rushing back. Since then we have been in touch and have even met for coffee twice. The more I talk to him, the more I feel that I love him. But then when I think about the way he broke up with me and left without any explanation, I think I am being a fool. He says he couldn’t get intouch because he had to leave the city in a hurry.
I have been thinking a lot and somehow I cannot convince myself that it I should stay away from my ex. I have not shared my feelings with my current boyfriend as I am sure he will not understand what I am going through. I am thinking of postponing my engagement party scheduled for next week so that I can have some more time to think about it. I love my fiancée but not the way I loved my ex. Is there any way to find out which feelings are true? I really need to decide soon or I might end up losing both.
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About User: Female - 30 - Indianapolis
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November 9, 2010 6:55pm
LOL at Raat - did the answer come??? :P
November 9, 2010 6:57pm
Zircon said it well -
October 26, 2010 5:04am
'The more I talk to him, the more I feel that I love him. But then when I think about the way he broke up with me and left without any explanation, I think I am being a fool.' Tell your ex you're off limits by breaking off all contact with him and that is that. If you must communicate, keep it online. Invite him to join naseeb.com.(shameless plug).
October 26, 2010 2:59am
lol sorry for some of the grammatical errors....i was typing in a rush :)
October 26, 2010 3:03am
Exactly my point Husnain. Besides I am yet to read the message from fat_cat.
October 26, 2010 3:56am
i suggest that you have a secret affair with ur ex.. that way you wont feel bad either way.. one teer two nishanas .. hope it helps best of luck in ur future endeavors ps. key word here *SECRET*
October 26, 2010 2:55am
Khak - 1. It isn't fat-cow but fat_cat. 2. You never asked me that question. You asked my why your business profile was not viewable by your friends and I replied to that question. 3. We have been publishing Ask Naseeb for the last five years and have real users, like yourself, who post these questions. 4. I am a product manager and not a content writer or the editor for Naseeb Vibes.
October 26, 2010 10:09am
well one could add a journal, and ask the same thing to be honest, wish i knew how to do that too.
October 26, 2010 10:09am
Adilalikhan I think your ex will do the same thing to you once more. Maybe hes just tryin to see if he can "get you" again. Once you someone treats you like cra.p once, its likely to happen again. And leaving in a rush.. that just sounds like a lame excuse. Seems like you were fine with the new bf till you met the old one again. Is it just something that was taken from you, and you couldnt attain at the time, and thats why its more attractive to you. Im almost afraid to be conservative in this day and age, but I really dont want a wife who would ever have the conversation of "you cant tell me who I can or cannot be friends with," and this is exactly what I would be afraid of.
October 26, 2010 10:07am
I wish I could post as a 'find out who' ? can anyone please show me how?
October 26, 2010 10:02am
This depends on how and why you broke up, on. Okay suppose you broke up on the fact that you felt cheated, then he may cheat with you again. Sometimes couples part ways for petty little reasons, and when they look back they say, there was no strong reason behind the miss-communication. Forget the looks and appearance, rather those details which carry a further meaning in the relationship, i, would give a few valuable points, one trust, loyalty, understanding, similarities behind thoughts and opinions, likes and dislikes, ambitions,desires, who is nature wise similar to you , one might be more romantic than the other, and whose nature do you like the most, religious and cultural values, and which of the two has more respect for you. These are some of the things which will help you decide.
October 26, 2010 9:31am
I think the fag meant 'added vices'...such as faggotry itself.
October 26, 2010 9:31am
ZIRC ICON - agree. She wants to throw someone committed who values her for a fleeting feeling with someone who clearly doesn't. Typical girl. knock24
October 26, 2010 9:40am
Here is the Uncyclopaedic link on Faggotry: uncyclopedia.wikia.com Faggotry (or chicken hawking as it is known in certain unseemly circles) is the art or sport of Homosexuals studying and practicing the performance of interior design, fashion development and consumption, bodybuilding and dancing in a tastful yet exotic way. There are two traditional terms to describe those who are involved in Faggotry: The Instructor trains the faggot: the Queen runs the faggot through its paces to determine if it is 1) Attractive, 2) Entertaining and 3) Knows its place. I am expecting a thanks from the fag.
October 26, 2010 9:29am
how mean zircon :( *drags himself to the corner* LOL!! its not a fetishhhh .. i was just helping a confused soul :( boo hoo!
October 26, 2010 9:21am
'advices' ? I thought they spoke English in Canada?
October 26, 2010 8:59am
LMAO at FLAVOR BOY....dude keep your fetishes to yourself :p ZIRCON _ ICON
October 26, 2010 9:12am
>>>I think if she has more feelings for the ex, she can go for him rather then not being honest and fully devoted to the current. If the ex is irresponsible, so be it. She can still live dreaming about him if their marriage never materialize. May be she should also know that this advice is coming from a fag who is also a relationship counsellor for heterosexual couples.
October 26, 2010 2:53am
I think that you need to really go over why this ex of yours left you in the first place. Living the city in a hurry is no excuse to not make any contact especially in this day and age where instant communication is rampant. Also in the 4 years since he didn't try to contact you in any way? I mean that doesnt show much love on his part. Maybe his reasoning is valid but it doesn't make too much sense to me. If he loved you as much as you say you love him he would have made every effort to contact you. Moreover, do you know his current feelings for you. Does he know you are engaged, sometimes knowing someone else is taking creates more interest for the other party. I think the best thing you can do is be honest with yourself and both men. I understand our personal feelings can get the best of us but that is why especially in those times we need to try to step back and analyze the situation. You have been with your current boyfriend for 2 years you say and I think you owe him the honesty in telling him how you feel. I mean think about it if you can't be totally honest with this person are you really willing to spend a whole lifetime with him and also you would be starting the marriage out on false pretenses. Also the guy that you love you need to find out if he feels the same way and also you need to find out what really happened when he left you, it would make sense for you to get a clearer understanding so you know for sure that that person would not do the same thing over to you again. I know being honest may be hard because it seems like people might get hurt in the process but you shouldn't ruin your life and the life of another person because you are unsure of what you want. iA everything will work out for you
October 26, 2010 8:49am
Muddy why dont you help the police and post your IP address here?
October 26, 2010 8:38am
Dear Naseeb, Question: I am a male being chased by a queer who 'loves being gay' (reference Amir Bubble's interview with it). It (the queer) is also taking a strange and suspicious interest in my comments. I have nothing against homosexuals but I prefer women. Please advise me and protect me from this stalker. I have notified the police and will request your assistance to trace the suspect.
October 26, 2010 8:21am
What have I said that is ill-mannered? Why is the attention-seeker giving me unwanted attention?
October 26, 2010 5:28am
Thanks but I just answered on your canvas fat cat. Please read my comments
October 26, 2010 5:08am
My business profile is not visible to any of my social contacts or anyone else. I hope fat-cat is listening rather than concentrating on these 'size does matter' journal entries.
October 26, 2010 5:16am
Khak - To activate public profile for business persona please do the following: Business -> Settings -> Account Settings -> Activate public profile. Also, your business contacts can interact with you on your business profile. Anyone that has only been added as a social friend will not be able to do so. You can change this by doing the following: My Friends -> Change
October 26, 2010 8:56am
It's pretty messed up that you are dealing with your ex, while you are already committed to someone else. If this "ex" cared enough he wouldn't have left you to begin with. If he left you without an explanation means that you were either PLAN B or PLAN C to him and he already had PLAN A going on at the time, which clearly didn't work out. At this point, is your ex in for a "life-committment" aka marriage with you asap? Is he willing to propose to you just like your current boyfriend did or is he only looking to fool around with you? Either way if I were you, I wouldn't break my marriage to be for some silly fool who thought he could use me as PLAN B and return into my life as he pleases. ZIRCON _ ICON
October 26, 2010 2:27pm
this is total bakwaas totally agree with ZIRCON...dudette think logically...the dude broke up with you without any explanation...hasnt contacted you in almost 4 yrs...i mean wtf lol....have some self respect....grow up...forget the ex....and either deal with your current b/f or break it off with him and move on.